S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
