ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can I color on your dick again?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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