So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
