Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize