Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
