I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize