Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
