sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
