you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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