so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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