real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
