you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
