I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
