Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize