That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
