It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize