Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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