I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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