fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
