just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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