Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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