i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
