worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
