She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I need a beard to bite.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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