waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I cut my penus on the lid.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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