Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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