oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
