I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
