i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She needs sedatives and a leash
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
