she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
