I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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