S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
