i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
