I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
