Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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