I must be too annoying 4 u.
I puked a lego.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
