If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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