What a fucking waste of an outfit
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
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