Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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