I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
