u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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