All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
literally had 100 drinks last night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
