Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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