i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you had me at cake vodka
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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