Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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