some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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