one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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