i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
