they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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