so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She's the barista slut.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
