Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
