Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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