Where is the hickey?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
