So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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