She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
