I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
