even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
