You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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