Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Found the puke drawer
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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