my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
