I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
