I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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