so that wasnt chicken after all
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
