how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
