i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
