we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize