something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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