I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
They took my balls.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
