Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
