I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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